Energy is never really gone. But sometimes.. it’s just blocked
There’s a kind of tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix.
You can rest, take a break, go on a retreat… but if you’re still fighting life on the inside, that exhaustion won’t go away. I’ve lived it. And maybe you have too. And spoiler alert, moving to a sunny country doesn’t fix it either. Believe me, I’ve tried.
I spent months trying to find my energy again, chasing it like something I’d lost. But here’s the thing: energy doesn’t need to be found. It needs to be freed.. More importantly, I’ve come to see that ‘healing’ might be more about remembering that it’s already there, and getting honest about what’s blocking it.
Let me take you on a little reflective journey through 5 quotes I marked in the book “the Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer and how these quotes slowly pulled me out of the heaviness and helped me unlock what I thought I’d lost: my life force.
1. “Nothing, ever, is worth closing your heart over.”
We want more energy, more flow, more inspiration.
But the second life gets uncomfortable… we close.
It’s subtle. Sometimes it’s an emotional shutdown. Sometimes it's overthinking, defensiveness, bitterness, blame, fatigue. The body contracts. The breath shallows. The heart hardens.
And then we wonder why we feel stuck.
At first, I didn’t understand what it meant when he said: “The only reason you don’t feel life’s natural joy and energy is because you block it.” But slowly, I started seeing it.
We’re quick to point fingers: “He did this, so …”, “She said this, sooo…”, “It’s all their fault, soooo..”
This is easier because it takes away the responsibility we have for our (re)actions. And although sometimes it is totally legit, at the same time, you give away your power. Now the other person gets to decide the grip the event holds on your heart. I, myself, have closed my heart more times than I can count by life’s events. I told myself that it was for protection and I had no other choice. I needed space. And that it was wise to shut down.
But it wasn’t wisdom. It was fear. And fear closes you off from the exact thing you’re longing for: connection, softness, flow.
The author shows us that our natural state is aliveness. It’s only when we react to discomfort by shutting down that we lose access to that energy. Through criticism, fear, disappointment, or judgment, we build walls. But those walls don’t shield us; they imprison us. And sometimes we are so familiar with this mechanism, it can actually create a (fake) sense of safety.
This quote isn’t saying you should let people walk all over you, though. It’s saying: don’t let them close you. Don’t let them rob you of your own connection to life.
I now know: when I close my heart, I’m not protecting myself, I’m abandoning myself. And I’m closing the door on everything I say I want.
And with that thought, I will take you to the next quote.
2. "The only reason you don't feel this energy all the time is because you block it. You block it by closing your heart, by closing your mind, and by pulling yourself into a restrictive space inside. This closes you off from all the energy. When you close your heart or close your mind, you hide in the darkness within you. There is no light. There is no energy. There is nothing flowing. The energy is still there, but it can't get in."
Okay, don’t scream at me..
It’s easy to think your energy is gone because you’re overwhelmed, or burned out, or in recovery mode (physically, emotionally, spiritually). And yes, those things absolutely matter.
But this (very long) quote tries to shift from “shit, there must be something broken in me” to “something is blocked in me”. Which one sounds more kind and temporary?
The author explains that we only feel that natural, radiant inner energy when we’re open. And I know you know this feeling. When something happens that we like, we open, get excited, and energy flows. But when something triggers discomfort, disappointment, or insecurity, we contract. We close. Yet Energy doesn't leave us… we just stop letting it in.
Let’s put it in other words: When someone gives you a compliment, your heart lifts. When they criticize you, it drops. You don’t need to study chakras to understand that. I’m sure you’ve felt it. And that’s the point.
“You are the one opening or closing the gate.”
So for months, when I was searching to find energy and to fix my broken, I was holding the key to the very door I’d closed myself? How does this look like, you ask? To me, it looked like waking up fine and calm on a Saturday, making plans for a dinner out later that night with a friend. But then in the midday I might have been brainrotting a bit too long or even heard my partner breathe wrongly and, boom.. I feel ‘no energy’ to get ready for the activity. Recognize this, anyone?
The energy was there. Life was still pulsing around me, inviting me in. But I was too clenched to receive it. Because I was waiting to feel safe or energetic, before I allowed myself to feel open. Therefore, this quote shattered the illusion that life owes me energy before I show up. It reminded me that I have to be the one to open first.
Every time I shut down, judge myself, or grip onto control, I’m literally blocking the life force that wants to move through me. So if it is about opening and softening, how do you do it?
3. "Every single time you relax and release, a piece of the pain leaves forever. Yet every time you resist and close, you are building up the pain inside."
The chapter this quote is from gave me a new way in. If I had to capture it in one word? Soften.
Mariska.. seriously? Sounds cliche and simple, but how do you do that? You might ask. And I asked the same. How do you soften? And I’m talking about in the actual moment your chest tightens, your throat closes, and your body screams “nope, not going there”. Because when you’ve been carrying pain for years (emotional, physical, soul-level pain, or all of the above) it can feel endless. Hopeless. Like nothing is working.
Relax and release.
That’s it.
Just feel it and... relax and release.
Don’t flip the table yet, I know this sounds too simple. But this holds so much power when you realize that every single time you do it, a piece of the pain actually leaves forever. Not just numbed or bypassed. Gone.
I started to understand that the tension I feel inside, whether it’s fear, shame, panic, or heartbreak, is energy that’s been stored because I never let it pass through me. Because I clenched when I should have breathed. I pushed it down when I could’ve let it move.
“Yet every time you resist and close, you are building up the pain inside.”
I was actively reinforcing my own stuckness every time I tensed up, every time I avoided the feeling, every time I fed the story instead of letting the sensation rise and dissolve.
It’s like damming a river and wondering why there’s no flow.
So now I’m learning: the moment something feels tight in my body, I don’t ask how to get rid of it. I ask, can I meet this? Can I relax, just a little, be the observer and the safe space for my own feelings and let it pass through?
They say processing an emotion fully takes about 90 seconds.
It might take a deep sigh, a hand on my chest, or a good cry. But every time I choose to soften instead of defend and resist, I win back a piece of myself. Every surrender. Every moment I don’t tense up is a moment I let a little more pain go.
Healing can’t be forced, but we can learn to make space for it. Through feeling it. Through the breath. Through any tool that helps us move it through us, instead of bottling it up in us. We all know that communicating our needs from a place of tension leads to more chaos and pain, but communicating from a place of calm clarity leads to changes and power.
But of course, the moment we try to make space for healing… resistance shows up. And that brings me to the next quote.
4. “Stress only happens when you resist life’s events.”
I used to spiral into stress so fast. Plans changed? Panic. Emotions rose? Shut down. Someone misunderstood me? Overthink it for hours. So much energy used, in a non-helfull way..
Resistance.
The invisible tension that sneaks into your shoulders, your breath, your tone of voice.
And half the time, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
It’s easy to think stress comes from life being “too much.” But the truth this quote confronted me with was:
“It’s not the thing that causes stress, it’s our resistance to the thing.”
That hit hard. Because if that’s true, it means stress isn’t just a reaction… it’s a choice. One we’re often making on autopilot. Let’s say you have to do the dishes or another household task that just needs to be done. When we resist it:
We procrastinate it, and therefore waste so much energy on the guilt of not doing it when we know it needs to be done AND suffer the consequences later when the procrastination led to bigger issues, making it an even bigger energy draining task that it was.
We do it with annoyance and complaining and heaviness. And as we know, emotion is energy in motion, so what you are doing here is.. Yep.. wasting that precious energy once again in a counterproductive, non-helpful way.
And if you are very stuck, you might find yourself doing both.
I started to notice how much of my tension came from not wanting life to be how it is.
When plans changed and I clung to control.
When I said the ‘wrong’ thing and I obsessed over how to fix it.
When my body felt tired and I judged it instead of accepting it.
Don’t get me started on my reaction when everything stopped me in my tracks due to an injury. I even wrote a whole blog about it here.
Anyway, that’s when I realized: resistance is not power. It’s panic wearing a mask.
The author describes a state where you’re not pushing life away, not pulling it toward you, just experiencing it. No resistance. No defense. Just presence.
You might be thinking this is a passive or a weak thing to do, but in my opinion, it’s actually the highest form of strength: choosing peace even when your mind wants war. It’s the brave thing. It requires you to trust in something bigger than your ego’s need to control everything.
In the end, this doesn’t mean we pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It means we stop fighting what is. Because the more we resist reality, the more stress we store in our minds, our muscles, our energy system. It’s like layering tension over truth. And here’s the irony: the more I fought what already was, the more I drained the exact energy I was trying to preserve. Resistance feels protective in the moment, but it’s actually what exhausts us. It disconnects us from the now. It disconnects us from ourselves.
So what if there was another way? What if, instead of resisting the moment… we could learn to be okay with it?.
And that brings me to the final quote.
5. “The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be okay.”
If you made it this far, let’s have a biiiiiiiig inhale together..
aaaaaaaand exhale…
🙂
Annoyingly simple when you read it like that, isn’t it? And yet, I bet it still frustrates you. Because reading all this won’t make you feel different overnight. Now it’s up to you to practice with this and observe. See where you still step into old patterns and make different choices. Choices from a place of self-care. Because that’s what this is about.
Now, this isn’t saying everything will magically fix itself. But it points out that the peace you’re chasing, the clarity, the relief, the “finally okay” feeling.. It doesn’t arrive after things change, it arrives the moment you stop needing it to.
Unfortunately, it’s not easy. Especially not when things feel chaotic, uncertain, or far from what you wanted.
But this quote shifted something in me. Because so often, I’ve postponed peace. These little (or loud) voices you might recognise as well:
I’ll feel okay once my energy is back.
I’ll feel safe when I have more money.
I’ll relax once I figure out what to do with my life.
I’ll be happy when my body looks/feels like this again.
But the list never ends, does it? It’s a trap and it’s one I’ve fed for years. Constantly waiting for the outside world to fall in line before I allow myself to rest.
This quote is a confrontation with that part of me.
You don’t need life to be okay to feel okay.
You need to be okay with life as it is. To meet it, breathe through it, and build from there.
So what does that look like?
The author talks about how we’re addicted to fixing everything. Fixing our feelings. Fixing others. Fixing reality to match our preferences. But the real work… is acceptance.
And acceptance is not the same as giving up. It’s just giving in to what already is, without resistance, without story, without needing it to be anything else.
These days, when my mind says “this shouldn’t be happening,” I gently ask back: “What if it is?”
When I meet life where it is (even the messiest parts) something softens.
That loosens the grip.
That brings me home.
I just breathe and say: This is what’s here. And I’m here with it.
And in that moment, everything is okay.
The next chapter is..?
So there you have it. Are these five quotes going to change your life overnight? Probably not, but my hope is that they do touch something deeper: Changing the way you meet life, as it does for more. And that, over time, changes everything.
Because sometimes what you're really looking for (energy, peace, clarity) isn’t out there.
It’s under the armor. It’s beneath the resistance. It’s waiting in the parts of you you’ve tried to protect for so long.
And maybe… just maybe… it’s safe now to start letting it go.
You don’t need to become someone new.
You just need to stop hiding who you already are.
And you might not know where to begin. That’s okay. Most people don’t.
If you feel something resonating but need further help processing or applying this, I’ll lovingly help you explore these patterns gently but truthfully. To see where you’re bracing, where you’re stuck, and where you’ve been cutting yourself off from your own flow. Together, we can discover how and where you can soften, and what that might open up for you in your life, your body, your energy, and your relationships.
Whether it’s through a session, a circle, or a deeper journey, this is the work I stand for. And if you feel it’s time, I would be honored to walk beside you.
Let’s keep exploring, evolving. Let’s keep opening.
Because this life is an experience and we can make sure it is a good one. 💛
With love & acceptance,
Mariska | Amapola healing
